Numbers. We live in a world filled with them. They are everywhere. They now even have their own television show. You cannot go for very long without the need to use numbers. We are inundated with digits and figures whether they are subliminally implanted into our brains or scrawled haphazardly on the side of a brick wall with neon green spray paint. We need them. We can’t live without them. Try going a day without them. No phone calls. You would never know what time it was and you could not use the @ symbol on a keyboard because that is forever linked to the “three” key. Numbers.
You can’t think of any number that doesn’t signify something. Many are easy and obvious and many others are more deftly hidden. Right off the bat we have some controversy. Is zero a number? Wikipedia has this explanation:
0 is the integer that precedes the positive 1, and follows −1. In most (if not all) numerical systems, 0 was identified before the idea of 'negative integers' was accepted. While mathematicians all accept zero as a number, some non-mathematicians would say that zero is not a number, arguing one cannot have zero of something. Others hold that if you have a bank balance of zero, you have a specific quantity of money in your account, namely none. It is that latter view which is accepted by mathematicians and most others.
I love that line “…if you have a bank balance of zero, you have a specific quantity of money in your account, namely none.” Well, put. You got nuttin’. So in banking terms 0 also means broke, flat-busted and possibly overdrawn. Dangit. To me the matter of whether 0 is a number or not can be simply solved. No, it is not a number. You cannot have 0 as your number on a jersey in sports. You can in fact have 00 so that is a number but not just one 0. Done. As for the next number, which is 1, there are many significant examples of this. 1 is the loneliest number. 1 is how many times you need to smell sour milk to know it is sour. 1 is the number of reliable trucks I have owned in my 26 year driving career. 2 is the quantity of each animal species on the ark (1 male 1 female I think). 2 also is the where they should have stopped the Rocky movies. 3 is the number of movies in a trilogy (except Star Wars which has 6 so far) and also the age where kids usually morph from cute cute to evil cute. 4 is the number of times I should have been killed jacking around with electricity and also the number of times I missed a plane on my recent return trip from China. 5 was Johnny Bench’s number and also the last name of my favorite robot of all time, Johnny 5. As for 6, that is the number of soft shell taco’s I could eat in addition to 2 bean burrito’s and 1 carmel empanada. It also is the maximum number of rings I have the patience for when calling anyone on the telephone. Now 7 is my favorite number. I am number 7 in all sports I play and also have tried to force my lucky number on my youngest son Keenan. He could care less probably but I have told him at least 7 times what that number means to me. [Just a qualifier, I DO NOT have number 7 jewelry nor do I have a tiny diamond #7 embedded in my front tooth. Just wanted to clarify that.] 8 is the number of times I have said “Tell me again why Paris Hilton is famous” this week. 8 is also the current number of Police Academy movies that have been released. 9 is my previous favorite number (until 1989) and until 2006 was the total number of planets in our solar system. (In 2006 scientists deemed Pluto to be a non-planet. Strangely enough, they also declared Pluto to be a non-dog causing a merchandising snafu for Disney). So there you have it, with those 10 digits (including 0) you can make any number in the world. String them together as you will. It will mean something.
37? Sure, that’s Adam Sandler’s sleep number. I am not sure what a sleep number is but one of mine would be 3. That’s how many minutes of Titanic I have to watch before falling hopelessly asleep in my chair. Or it could be 13 which is the number of times I have started to watch The Phantom Of The Opera and fallen asleep before it starts getting good (does it?). 867-5309? Of course that is the most famous phone number in history. (Jenny, we got your number) 409. That is the area code of Beaumont Texas. And it is a formula that will degrease non-porous surfaces. Oh yeah, it is also the year that the Vandals broke through Constantine III’s garrisons and sacked Hispania. Just a little FYI for you history buffs. 33 is an important number. It was Legend Larry Bird’s (also called the Basketball Jesus) number. It was how old the real Jesus was when he began his ministry. At 33 he set forth to save the world. At 33 Legend Larry averaged 24.3 ppg while leading the Boston Celtics in the NBA. At 33 I put a clothespin on my eyelid to see if it would hurt. It did sting a little by the way. Oh look, it’s 9:11 on 09/21/08. Gotta run, I have some numbers to crunch and I have to go to the bathroom again for the 7th time since 6 as I drank 3 cups of coffee. I am outta here like 99 luft balloons. Later.
You can’t think of any number that doesn’t signify something. Many are easy and obvious and many others are more deftly hidden. Right off the bat we have some controversy. Is zero a number? Wikipedia has this explanation:
0 is the integer that precedes the positive 1, and follows −1. In most (if not all) numerical systems, 0 was identified before the idea of 'negative integers' was accepted. While mathematicians all accept zero as a number, some non-mathematicians would say that zero is not a number, arguing one cannot have zero of something. Others hold that if you have a bank balance of zero, you have a specific quantity of money in your account, namely none. It is that latter view which is accepted by mathematicians and most others.
I love that line “…if you have a bank balance of zero, you have a specific quantity of money in your account, namely none.” Well, put. You got nuttin’. So in banking terms 0 also means broke, flat-busted and possibly overdrawn. Dangit. To me the matter of whether 0 is a number or not can be simply solved. No, it is not a number. You cannot have 0 as your number on a jersey in sports. You can in fact have 00 so that is a number but not just one 0. Done. As for the next number, which is 1, there are many significant examples of this. 1 is the loneliest number. 1 is how many times you need to smell sour milk to know it is sour. 1 is the number of reliable trucks I have owned in my 26 year driving career. 2 is the quantity of each animal species on the ark (1 male 1 female I think). 2 also is the where they should have stopped the Rocky movies. 3 is the number of movies in a trilogy (except Star Wars which has 6 so far) and also the age where kids usually morph from cute cute to evil cute. 4 is the number of times I should have been killed jacking around with electricity and also the number of times I missed a plane on my recent return trip from China. 5 was Johnny Bench’s number and also the last name of my favorite robot of all time, Johnny 5. As for 6, that is the number of soft shell taco’s I could eat in addition to 2 bean burrito’s and 1 carmel empanada. It also is the maximum number of rings I have the patience for when calling anyone on the telephone. Now 7 is my favorite number. I am number 7 in all sports I play and also have tried to force my lucky number on my youngest son Keenan. He could care less probably but I have told him at least 7 times what that number means to me. [Just a qualifier, I DO NOT have number 7 jewelry nor do I have a tiny diamond #7 embedded in my front tooth. Just wanted to clarify that.] 8 is the number of times I have said “Tell me again why Paris Hilton is famous” this week. 8 is also the current number of Police Academy movies that have been released. 9 is my previous favorite number (until 1989) and until 2006 was the total number of planets in our solar system. (In 2006 scientists deemed Pluto to be a non-planet. Strangely enough, they also declared Pluto to be a non-dog causing a merchandising snafu for Disney). So there you have it, with those 10 digits (including 0) you can make any number in the world. String them together as you will. It will mean something.
37? Sure, that’s Adam Sandler’s sleep number. I am not sure what a sleep number is but one of mine would be 3. That’s how many minutes of Titanic I have to watch before falling hopelessly asleep in my chair. Or it could be 13 which is the number of times I have started to watch The Phantom Of The Opera and fallen asleep before it starts getting good (does it?). 867-5309? Of course that is the most famous phone number in history. (Jenny, we got your number) 409. That is the area code of Beaumont Texas. And it is a formula that will degrease non-porous surfaces. Oh yeah, it is also the year that the Vandals broke through Constantine III’s garrisons and sacked Hispania. Just a little FYI for you history buffs. 33 is an important number. It was Legend Larry Bird’s (also called the Basketball Jesus) number. It was how old the real Jesus was when he began his ministry. At 33 he set forth to save the world. At 33 Legend Larry averaged 24.3 ppg while leading the Boston Celtics in the NBA. At 33 I put a clothespin on my eyelid to see if it would hurt. It did sting a little by the way. Oh look, it’s 9:11 on 09/21/08. Gotta run, I have some numbers to crunch and I have to go to the bathroom again for the 7th time since 6 as I drank 3 cups of coffee. I am outta here like 99 luft balloons. Later.
posted by Kevonia at 9:28 AM
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